Confinement period: tips for parents
These days we are living a awesome and new situation for all. We are looking for information and advice to cope in the best possible way with the state of confinement that was declared a few days ago by the coronavirus. Numerous articles, guides or lists circulate on the Internet that give us ideas or help us identify situations, emotions and ways of facing and organizing our daily experiences.
I write these lines dedicated to those parents who are taking care of their children in the best possible way and may have doubts or these comments may be useful for them to understand themselves and their children. It is not only a matter of patience, understanding also helps.
What do I tell you?
Explain to your child what coronavirus is, that word he heard a while ago at school, and now he keeps hearing it at home, in the news and in conversations. If it helps you, there are videos online adapted for them with language and understanding appropriate to their age.
Inform them why they have to be home. It is important not to be alarmist and create incendiary fears. Surely you have heard some news on television without even realizing it or you have seen some image that has impacted you and you are turning it over in your head.
You may also have heard a conversation on the phone or between your parents that you understood in your own way. And how they sometimes understand it! That's why telling them how things are going and what you think is a way to identify negative and fanciful thoughts that can cause anguish and fears in them.
As the situation is dragging on, you have to keep refreshing and bringing up the topic because it may be that as it progresses they have more uncertainty or new questions arise. Exactly the same as adults.
How do I tell him?
Talk to your children at times when you feel you are most prepared to do so. Take care of yourself so you can take care of them.
During these days we experience situations and emotions that are like a roller coaster, news that shocks and creates fear, whether it be health or economic issues. This means that one becomes anxious at times and makes it more difficult to speak. Don't run, there is time. And it is always better to do it later and calmer.
The Parents are a mirror for their children. If when you talk about the situation with your partner or family member you do it with anxiety, if you overinform yourself and spend a lot of time on the subject, if that's the case...you cannot convey calm.
The idea is not to be a superhero for your children, who is never afraid and always strong. The idea is to be an example of being worried at times, being as realistic as possible and not extreme. Also don't deny and try to ensure that they are enjoying and busy all day. A task that is exhausting and not beneficial.
For the adult's emotional release and to be more prepared for coexistence, it is important to have some private time during the day, exercise and distract yourself. During the day, save time to do your own things. Don't try to spend all your free time with the whole family, it's impossible for you to like the same thing all the time.
Gain strength and you will be more prepared to transmit calm.
The importance of the communication
Just as it is important communication within the home with them, so is the communication with the outside. It helps them to see and hear other family members and check that things are going well, it gives them security. If you can, facilitate daily communication with a family member and a friend.
It is also good to tell them about the outside and make them see the positive things about staying at home. How there are people who are healing and who, thanks to their efforts, are part of the recovery. Get them to be part of the effort and the positive results that are obtained. It will motivate them and help them in the most difficult moments. Having a purpose helps.
The challenges of routine
The daily routine benefits for several reasons. The first, helps organize the day and tasks that are mandatory and necessary for our head and body.
The second is the challenge of facing routine, having to adapt to what is happening at that moment even if you don't feel like it very much, it helps balance our heads. If you do what you want to do all day, what initially brings you enjoyment ends up satiating you and boredom or apathy appears.
Having limited times makes you value the beginning and end of an activity. For this reason it is good to differentiate. For example, in the meals, vary some for the weekend and others during the week. In clothing, change according to the activity. Distinguish activities, and vary them according to times of the day or week.
All this does not mean that there is no spontaneity and suddenly something unexpected appears or the routine is altered. Welcome be the surprise.
Be permissive with the rules
try be tolerant of aspects that you did not allow before, may be more beneficial at this time than what may harm now and in the future. Before you might ask them not to jump on the bed, for example. Now that they jump for a while, understood as an outlet for them, and one less scolding from you is more beneficial.
No worth get emotionally worn out in all the battles that happen at home in one day, select which ones are worth it, mainly due to the seriousness of the matter. Being a little more permissive with schedules at times, with the type of games or activities at home, or with schoolwork are examples.
Don't feel guilty or be afraid to lower the bar with some rules , you are also suffering yours and weathering your emotions. If you are less stressed and angry, you are more prepared to continue educating and protecting your children these days.
Harness emotions
Don't be scared or avoid certain emotions of discomfort in you and your children. They are a reflection of the situation and the changes we experience in our daily lives. Before experiencing this situation, neither you nor your son were always in the same mood. Now it can't be different.
What I mean by this is that don't be scared by him or think that you are doing it wrong, for example if he gets bored. He boredom can be a source of creativity, and the child grows emotionally when he is able to search for games to change his state independently.
Just as there may be moments or some day that I may have more fear. It's a natural reaction to what he is living. Maybe that day you need a little more affection and talk more about the subject.
Try to see emotions as a thermometer. When they vary a lot from what is usually normal for your child, it is telling you that something is not right. If you are more distressed, ask yourself why it may be and look for a solution. Sometimes, it can be as simple as having a bad night's sleep. Others it is not so much and they are not able to find out because the child is not aware either.
Our houses these days are like a ship. We are together, isolated from the outside and moving forward to reach the same place. Everyone in the family has a role and everyone is important. The captain and the sailor are necessary, they all contribute without realizing it many times.
If these days you observe very important changes in your child and you have doubts about whether it is normal and reactive to the situation or it could be a disorder, consult a psychology specialist or your pediatrician. From Psycho3 We are offering online therapy to be able to advise you in these difficult times.
CHEER UP !
English (UK) 
Español